I find that I reflect back on Cambodia a lot. Even now as I sit in the Church Office Building in Salt Lake City in the Headquarters Mission .... learning more every day I find myself engaged in mission comparison thoughts! We sit here in Salt Lake City at the feet of the Apostles and are taught almost each week by a General Authority. We have had the privilege of listening to these brethren in many broadcast around the world and here in and around Temple Square. I try not to begin sentences any more with "In Cambodia....." but sometimes I just can't help it. Cambodia was such a magnificent learning ground for me. Cambodia gave me perspective. Cambodia has given me a broader view of the gospel and a more simplistic vision of what makes one happy in this life. It is interesting that 22 months of my 64 years of life seems to have taught me the most but ..... would I have learned all that I needed to learn without the other 62 years? Probably not!
We made many cherished friendships with other senior couples and with the young missionaries too. It was so hard to take people to the airport and have to say our "good-byes". No matter how hard it was to be brave and try not to cry, the tears always seemed to leak out! It got a little bit easier when we learned to say to one another, "I'll see you on the other side!" Meaning this REALLY isn't "good-bye" but instead, I'll see you in the next place in North America. It was easier knowing that we would see one another state side.
I have recently been thinking a lot of the Plan of Salvation. It made me wonder if when we departed from our loved ones in the Spirit World did we leave one another with tears in our eyes saying "I'll see you on the other side"?
1972 was the
first time that I had ever heard of the Plan of Salvation I was 18 yrs old. With great confidence the Elders displayed
their flannel shapes and outlines with picturesque perfectness!
As I heard
that great plan being taught, everything came together in my head. It brought reason. It
brought clarity. Especially clarity of
the divine!
As a very young girl (maybe 5 yrs old) I attended the Episcopal Church with my Grandparents. After the main church service was over, there would be a designated person who got to carry this tall staff with an ornate cross on the top and usher the congregation into the hall where Sunday School would then commence. We all dutifully followed him or her. I WANTED TO CARRY THAT STAFF in the worst way! I wanted to be the one to lead my family and everyone else into that next room! I also wanted to do it more like a “bunny hop” to prove that I had total control of the crowd! I did get to carry it once but I think someone was helping (or controlling me) and I didn’t know it! This is really my first church experience that I remember.
Once my
father completed Dental School I then returned to live with my parents in a new
town where he had set up a new practice.
There was no Episcopal Church but there was a Methodist Church which was
considered to be very similar! Every Sunday at
some point in the service we would all stand up as a congregation and repeat
The Apostle’s Creed. It begins, “I
believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. And in His Son Jesus Christ, his only begotten
son….” Then it went on to mention Mary,
his mother…. Pontius Pilot…. And in 3
days after his death he arose so that he could "sit at the right hand of God the
Father".
I had no
idea that little paragraph was preparing me to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ
in its simplicity and fullness through the Plan of Salvation. What I was professing to believe each week
was that God lives and His son was Jesus Christ. (and I never understood if
they were 1 or 2 beings… but I just couldn’t wrap my head around them being
only 1 person!) I felt like that life
with God after death was only for Jesus... after all, there was only one chair and it was not designated me. I thought that this is what church is all
about…. Meaningfully reciting this Creed.
There seemed to be something
missing but I was too young and too immature to recognize it.
Many years
later when I read Joseph Smith- History and had read that he had been attending
the Methodist Church, I understood a lot more in v.19 when Joseph’s life-altering
question was answered:
"I was answered
that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who
addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight;
that those professors were all corrupt; that: “they draw near to me with their
lips, but their hearts are far from me,
they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness,
but they deny the power thereof.” JSH 1:19
Also on a Sundays,
communion was served, mostly for the adults.
This is similar to our Sacrament…. Instead its with a wafer that
dissolves in your mouth like cotton candy and grape juice. (I gotta say…. I felt a little cheated when
I found out that the Episcopalians had REAL wine!)
I asked my mother, “when can
I do that?” All I got from her was … “when
you’re old enough to understand”… It was
hard to pin her down on that information.
Finally, when I was about 12 yrs old, she conceded that I was old
enough! I asked if she could teach me
what I needed to know. She said NO only
the Pastor could do that through Confirmation Classes! I thought “Oh no! Is there a test with that
class? What kind of percentage do I
have to have to pass?” I knew that
whatever number they gave I had to have at least 10-15% points higher to pass
in my mother’s eyes!
In one of
the classes I thought I had doomed myself.
I asked, what I thought was a simple question, (could have been some attitude in there, I was only 12 yrs. old!), “we
see drawings of Jesus all the time, why don’t we see pictures of God?” You would think that this would be an
opportune time for a pastor to teach is little flock some doctrine…. Instead, Reverend
Bascom came unglued, he thought I was questioning if there was a God at all and
he proceeded to rip a strip off of me in front of the whole class that I can
still feel today. I remember thinking, “Sarah,
what have you done? You are going to
fail the class and go to hell all in one question!” At that moment I was not sure what was going
to be worse…. At the ripe age of 12 having already doomed myself to an eternal
pit of fire and brimstone or having to tell my mother that I just might not
pass this class!!! Well, I did pass the
class but if the truth be known, I think that Reverend Bascom was also afraid
of my mother! But having spent all
those weeks in that class, I could not tell you one piece of doctrine.
Once I heard
the doctrines of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and His Plan of Salvation EVERYTHING
changed.
To know that
we all began in a Pre-existence with our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and many
other family members and friends was liberating. To know that we stood for truth then and
could continue to do so now was strengthening.
We all defended the Savior. We
all understood the plan. That we all came to this earth knowing that it
wouldn’t be easy yet we still chose to come to the earth. And what I have learned through the years is
that NOW is NOT the time to abandon the plan due to being alone or family
members letting go of that iron rod or illnesses or a lifetime of trials and
tribulations or even a lifetime of too much ease in the path. We all signed up for the WHOLE PLAN not just
the parts we liked.
Having a
love for Family History has allowed me to continue
just as I did as a little girl to carry that staff one more time and figuratively
usher thousands of family members into the "next room”. In the Headquarters Mission we feel we have a direct connection to the Spirit World with all the work that is done in the Family History Library, the Church History Library, Digitizing and Imaging Departments, the Granite Vaults, and all work leading to the Temples within the Mission boundaries. All the work done here bridges the past and the present.
Unfortunately, within weeks, Sloan and I have had the same experience. My dear friend, Julie Kathryn (Wiggill) Leavitt, had fought ovarian cancer for 4 years but on Friday 6 July 2018 her little body just couldn't fight any more.
She was ushered into the "next room" most likely by her father or sister. In every sense of the word, Julie was my sister. I will miss her every day. Of course, people say nice things like, "she's in a better place", "she's now out of pain", "she's with her family". I understand that but it has not once put a dent into my pain that I am now left with. I have this big gaping hole in my heart. After buckets of tears, I just can't say "Good-bye"....it sounds so final!
I realize that I must rise to Julie's level and think of others. The Plan of Salvation is one of the greatest gifts to help us learn that fundamental principle of the importance of learning to be Christlike on this earth. I am excited for Julie. I'm a so curious as to what she is getting to see and learn. So many things I want to ask, How much was true in all those Life-after-death books she was reading? What was it like to get to hug your dad again? Actually how much weight did you lose just by stepping through the veil? How old are you? Are you 62 or did the veil trim a few years too? These are real questions. We talked about them often and many other topics. Oh, the things she could teach me now.
